I came across Rachel’s post not to long ago where she asks herself “Who would I be without Type One Diabetes?”
I had to stop reading and think about my answer.
I have no idea who I would be without diabetes. I would be a boring ol’ person dealing with the same shit going on as everyone else in this world. I’ve have no fun gatherings, like the JDRF walks, to go to each year. I wouldn’t have a reason to be involved in my community. I wouldn’t have met a lot of great people. I wouldn’t have shared quite so many experiences. I wouldn’t have started this blog (or maybe I would, but it wouldn’t have lasted this long!) But, I’d be able to carry a much smaller purse.
I’ve lived with type one diabetes a little more than 17 years. It has played a big factor in my life; from little things like what I should wear and what to pack for a vacation, to much bigger things like how I felt on my wedding day. These experiences have made me the strong woman that I am today.
If I was given the chance, I wouldn’t want to hold onto diabetes. Diabetes is like another full time job, with additional frustrations. I would love to give up all the calloused fingers, multiple devices always attached to my body, and the constant risk of damaging my body permanently. Then there is the financial aspect of diabetes; the extra costs that need to be paid for health insurance, test strips, insulin, insulin pumps, CGM supplies, device upgrades, doctor visit co-pays along with all the gas and time off of work to go to such appointments. With all that extra money spent over the last 17 years, I could have paid off my house already! (Well, maybe not, but you get the idea… Diabetes is expensive!)
But who am I now?
I am Calla. I am a 27 years old. I am a wife, a sister, an aunt, a daughter, a granddaughter, a friend. I am creative. I am a homeowner. I am a blogger. I am a coffee lover. I am a graphic designer. I’m an online shopper. I am a dog lover. I am a type one diabetic. I think if this one facet of my life were removed, I would be able to function just fine. I would be a healthy person!
But I have also come to terms that this will probably not happen during my lifetime, and I am ‘OK’ with that. If diabetes was to be cured and taken out of my life, I would extremely happy and relieved. My life would not be surrounded and count on those numerous finger pricks and site changes… Even though at the same time, it might feel like I was loosing part of what makes me, “me.” Either way, it would still be pretty cool to say “I used to have type one diabetes.”
Is there an aspect of your life you’d give up, even though it’s taught you some valuable lessons?