When is the “right” time?

I never thought that so quickly after getting married we would talk about having a baby. Yes, I have that “motherly instinct,” but I hadn’t thought it would run through my head almost on a daily basis. Is this my brain telling me that I am mentally ready to take the next step? Are the daily conversations with my husband about “not doing *blank* when we have a kid” or “we’ll need space for *blank* when we have a kid” normal for those who are recently married?

When is the Right this second, we are definitely not ready to take the next step. We are in the process of buying our first house. We need to get ourselves situated in that new home. We need to make improvements to that new home. We need to make sure we can afford to live in that new home.

Financially, we agree that we need more money before we can “afford to have a kid”. There is no way we could live on just one income. Yes, I understand that you “make sacrifices for a baby,” but I don’t think we are ready to make so many sacrifices quite yet. On top of it all, I am a diabetic, and the high risk pregnancy scares the crap outta me! I just can’t imagine getting my husband all excited about having a baby, and then for something to go terribly wrong. My A1c level is right now is about 7.1.

My dad keeps saying that we are going to make a ‘special announcement’ by our one year wedding anniversary. My sister keeps saying that she can’t wait for my nephew to have a little cousin. My huband’s family loves me. I’m loved in his family. And I have to say, we work pretty damn well together too.

My whole family is leaving little hints that they want us to have a baby. They just don’t understand where I am coming from. I am scared. I don’t want to disappoint anyone, especially my husband. My A1c just isn’t perfect enough to stop my birth control pills and I don’t think I’m ready.

According to others in my situation on typeonenation.org, many OBGYN doctors and endocrinologists suggest that a type 1 diabetic’s A1c be in the 6 range before getting pregnant. During pregnancy, A1c levels should remain in the 5’s in order to avoid complications. I do understand, but I have also heard of many successful Type 1 Pregnancies without such tight control. My endocrinologist has already given me the “green light” to start trying, if we wanted to of course. Click here to read a little bit more about diabetes & pregnancy.

Do I have the motivation to lower my A1c? Will lowering my A1c help me to feel like I am ready to be a mom? Will us owning a home and having a little more space make us feel like we could have a kid? Will I ever not be scared, or will my worries just change? Will we ever feel like we are ready? I guess only time will tell… and we have plenty of time!

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